mikeboltonconsulting.com

SEO

Illustration of a seated figure fishing for a glowing fish among many other fish, above a clock labeled 'Patience'.
SEO 5 min read
Don’t Chase Every Shiny Fish: Why SEO Rewards Patience
When it comes to search engine optimization many people think they can sprint ahead of the curve by grabbing every glittering keyword that crosses their path. The reality is far less dramatic and certainly far more rewarding for those willing to play the long game. This article will walk you through why waiting works, what pitfalls lurk for the impatient and how a measured approach can actually make your site shine brighter in the endless sea of results.

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A collage of faces and social media logos, densely packed together. The words "Trending Content: Impossible to Keep Up" is overlaid
SEO 4 min read
The Rise and Fall of Trend Chasing Content
If you spend more than five minutes a day looking at your phone, you have seen the pattern. Writers behave like caffeinated squirrels. They spot a new topic, freak out, and write three thousand words about it before the rest of us have even finished our morning coffee. It is a frantic race to be the first person to say something, anything, about the latest viral nonsense. This is trend chasing, and while it looks like a high speed career path, it is often just a very loud way to go nowhere.
Cartoon boxing ring with a robot labeled SEO facing off against a person labeled SOCIAL MEDIA.
SEO 7 min read
SEO vs Social Media: Which One Actually Drives Traffic Long Term
If you have ever stared at a spreadsheet wondering why one channel magically pulls in visitors while another feels like shouting into an empty room you are not alone. The internet is full of hype and half‑truths and two concepts keep popping up more often than a meme in a corporate Slack thread: search engine optimization and social media marketing. This piece breaks down those buzzwords with a side of sarcasm, a splash of practical insight and enough bullet points to make your grandma think you finally learned how to organize grocery lists.
Two conveyor belts carry cursor icons toward a yellow and black barrier beneath the words "WEB TRAFFIC".
SEO 5 min read
The Difference Between Traffic and Useful Traffic
If you’ve ever spent any amount of time scrolling through marketing blogs you know that “traffic” is a word people love to throw around like confetti at a parade. It sounds impressive, it feels powerful, and on paper it promises everything from brand domination to instant revenue. The reality however often looks more like a crowded room where everyone is shouting but nobody is listening. In this post we’ll explore how traffic can look impressive on the surface yet fail to deliver anything that actually moves the needle. I’ll keep things snarky enough to make you smile but grounded in facts so you walk away with something useful.
An overhead shot shows a laptop displaying the word "BLOG", a notebook, pen, phone, glasses, and a blue plant on a wooden surface.
SEO 5 min read
Updating Old Blog Posts for SEO Gains (The Lazy Genius Method)
You spent hours crafting that post months ago. It felt shiny and fresh then. Now it looks a bit dusty. Search engines love signals of relevance. They notice when you revisit old pages and give them a little push. Updating content is not just about fixing typos or adding pictures. It is also about showing algorithms that the information still matters today.
a graphic of a book opened with a tree coming out of it. it says "Evergreen Content: What It Is and How to Create It:
SEO 4 min read
Evergreen Content: What It Is and How to Create It
Evergreen content is the kind of material that refuses to feel stale after a week or two. It hangs around like a good pair of shoes that never go out of style while every other piece of pop culture gets tossed into the bin of yesterday’s hype. In plain English it means you are pumping out stuff people can return to again and again without feeling embarrassed about how dated it looks. If you can build a library of these timeless pieces you will be saving yourself countless hours of chasing trends that die faster than a summer romance.
a graphic of a woman sitting at a desk with a laptop writing with though bubbles around her
SEO 7 min read
How to Write Blog Posts That Rank and Still Sound Like You
You have probably noticed that the internet is overflowing with content that either tries too hard to sound “professional” or forgets entirely what a human voice sounds like. Some articles read like a robot wrote them after binge drinking coffee while others try so desperately to be quirky you feel like you just watched a bad improv show. Finding the sweet spot between discoverability and authenticity feels like searching for a single sock in an endless pile of laundry – frustrating, weirdly satisfying when it finally works, and worth every minute if you nail it.
A graphic showing a grave, a hand reaching up and ghosts around. the headstone says "SEO Myths" and the title on the picture says "SEO Mysths that refuse to die"
SEO 4 min read
Common SEO Myths That Refuse to Die- And What To Do Instead
Search engine optimization is a world that loves gossip more than most reality shows. Every time the algorithm updates, a handful of self‑styled experts roll out fresh warnings about secret formulas that promise instant traffic. Some of those warnings have been repeated so often they sound like gospel even when anyone who tests them discovers a different truth. This article uncovers several SEO myths that keep circulating and adds practical recommendations for each one. The goal is to help you avoid wasted effort, focus on what actually moves the needle and maybe chuckle at how stubborn certain legends can be.
a search engine home page with the text "how search engines work" in the text box
SEO 6 min read
How Search Engines Actually Work (In Human Words)
Search engines are those clever little helpers that seem to guess what you want before you finish typing. They gather data, sort it out and finally hurl a list of links in front of your face hoping something will click for you. The whole story sounds simple when you picture it but the reality feels a bit messy. Below is a walk through the hidden machinery explained in plain language without drowning you in tech talk.
The letters SEO with an arrow coming up from the O
SEO 5 min read
SEO for Beginners Who Hate Technical Things
You are not alone in feeling that the word “SEO” sounds a lot like some alien language spoken by people who spend their free time reading code. If you have ever rolled your eyes at the idea of keyword density or wondered whether Google actually reads blog posts, this guide is for you. I’ll walk through the basics with zero math and almost no tech jargon.
A blurry background with Bubbles describing SEO
SEO 6 min read
Why Your SEO Traffic Isn’t Growing And How To Diagnose It In Three Steps
You have been churning out content you thought would catapult your site into the top of search results only to watch the numbers barely budge. It is perfectly normal to feel a little annoyed when the digital crowd seems oblivious to the fireworks you are trying to launch. The good news? Most traffic plateaus happen for fairly straightforward reasons that become obvious once you stop pretending they do not exist. Below you will find a walk through three clear steps that expose hidden problems and steer you toward steady growth.
a coloring book page of an alien eating a taco in outer space
SEO 3 min read
Exploring the Wild World of Adult Coloring Books… and Why Everyone's Suddenly Interested
So you’ve finally decided that “adult coloring books” are the latest cash cow, huh? Yeah, welcome to the club of people who think “put a few lines on paper and sell it for $9.99” is some kind of revolutionary business model. Spoiler alert: it’s not. It’s just you taking your boredom, giving it a fancy title, slapping an ISBN on it, and hoping that somewhere out there a yoga‑loving millennial will buy a 48‑page “Mindful Mandala” to prove they’re
A graphic image of a robot working on a laptop with ideas all around it
SEO 7 min read
AI Generated Content: Will It Help or Hurt Your SEO in 2025
If you spend any amount of time hunched over a keyboard trying to make sense of the ever‑changing world of search engine optimization then you have probably heard the phrase “AI generated content” tossed around like an office printer jam. It sounds futuristic and it feels familiar at the same time. Maybe you remember that feeling when every department at Initech suddenly started demanding new software upgrades while nobody could explain why they were needed. That is a lot of what the conversation about AI looks like today; there is excitement, there is confusion and there are plenty of people who simply want to see if this shiny new tool can actually move the needle on traffic and rankings.
a graphic explaining website performance
SEO 2 min read
Essential Steps for Keeping your Website Running Smoothly
Hi there, fellow internet explorers! It's your friendly neighborhood Office Space alum, Michael Bolton. You may know me as the hapless victim of hilarious mockery from my coworkers, but today I'm here to share some wisdom on how to check your website for top-notch performance.
A graphic showing the importance of keywords
SEO 4 min read
Keywords: The Bane of Existence, or Just Good Ol' Fashioned Signposts?
Alright, settle down. You want to talk keywords? Fine. But let's be real, folks, you're probably here because some intern dragged you through some dry, soul-crushing presentation about "optimizing your digital footprint" or maybe you're just bored out of your skull. Either way, let's cut the corporate jargon and get to the nitty-gritty.
A graphic explaining Off-Page Optimization
SEO 4 min read
The Straight-Up, No-Dash Link-Building Playbook
Forget the shortcuts, yo. Real link-building's like being a Navy SEAL or a top-line rapper—grind, no fluff, and you better bring the heat.
A graphic of common SEO mistakes
SEO 4 min read
SEO Mistakes to Avoid
Let’s cut to the chase. This is when you’re writing content that’s like a 15-second TikTok clip—super surface-level, no depth, and just crammed with keywords like you’re trying to make a sandwich out of a brick. You’re not answering questions; you’re just throwing words at a wall and hoping something sticks. Think of it as a rap verse that’s all filler, no flow. You’re not giving your audience anything useful. You’re just recycling the same old phrases, pretending you’ve got a clue.
A man sitting on a desk with a notebook in his hand
SEO 5 min read
On Page SEO Explained Simply
Let’s cut the crap. If you’re reading this, you’re probably a rookie trying to figure out how to make your website rank like a Navy SEAL on a mission. Here’s the deal: SEO isn’t some mystical process that requires a PhD in quantum physics. It’s about making your content so good, so clear, and so damn useful that people can’t help but click, read, and then go,
A chart explaining the importance of content strategy
SEO 6 min read
Content Strategy: Creating Content With Purpose
Alright, alright, settle down, ya bunch of digital hopefuls. Michael Bolton here. Yeah,
Disclaimer

Hi this is obviously a parody site. I'm not a fictional character. The content provided on this site is for entertainingly informational purposes only and is not tailored to the specific needs or circumstances of any individual or organisation. It should not be considered a replacement for professional advice.

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